How to Make My Cat Love Me

If you go to Google and type in the phrase, “how to make my cat,” Google will offer suggestions to complete the phrase. The first suggestion is “love me.” This means there are boatloads of people typing in the phrase, “how to make my cat love me.”

Really? We’re so needy.

Some cat breeds are known to be “friendly” which basically means you’d never find yourself consulting the Goog at 3 a.m. typing “how to make my cat love me” if you have one of these beauties living in your household.

For all other breeds, you might want to get a dog.

But, you don’t want a dog. You want your damn insufferable cat to sit in your lap and purr the soft sounds of pure gratitude while you watch your shows at the end of a long day. Right?

First off, if you typed in the phrase, “how to make my cat love me,” you’re going about this all wrong. (You may also need to google articles on dating tips or you may want to seek counseling.)

You can’t make your cat do anything. (There’s a larger life lesson here, but I digress.)

There is something you can do. You can assist your cat in forming an opinion of you. The four things listed below will have your cat wrapped around your fingers — hopefully not drawing blood this time.

1. Know that your cat is an independent creature.

Listen, your cat needs you when (and only when) they need you. Not when you need them to need you. These lovable jerks don’t give a clumpy litter ball about reading the room. They are fully engaged in their own Big Plans. Sonnets to compose. Physics calculations. An imaginary bug to capture. When you disturb their brilliant minds, frankly, it pisses them off. So don’t.

And don’t be offended when they show you in no uncertain terms that they’d prefer to be alone at the moment. (See Step 4)

2. Don’t punish your cat.

No matter what the little bastard did, yelling at it or spraying it with a water bottle will only make your cat trust you less. This is especially true if your cat already has trust issues. Certain personality types are more fearful than others. Keep this in mind and try to stick with positive reinforcement or distraction.

3. What is your cat’s favorite treat?

If you don’t already know, then, this is likely the reason you’re seeking counsel in the first place. You need to find out. Take time. Experiment. This is your new mission in life. This kind of time, effort and blatant worshipping is probably the most effective means of gaining your cat’s trust.

4. Worship your cat.

Pay attention to your cat’s likes and dislikes. Shower them with all that they love and respect their boundaries. Accept your cat. Also, accept that you have taken the role of humble servant and if you behave as outlined here, your cat may or may not show gratitude. Basically, #4 is all about accepting the things you cannot change.

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One thought on “How to Make My Cat Love Me

  • May 16, 2017 at 10:41 am
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    ‘don’t give a clumpy litter ball’ . want to use this phrase at my job

    Reply

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